You work out of a Hotel?
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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