For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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