Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Do you remember whose house we're in?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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