I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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