We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
