i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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