yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
