My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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