So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
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