All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
