Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
