I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
