Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Naked Twister starts at high noon
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
