your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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