You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
