A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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