hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Randomize
