guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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