found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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