i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
her vagine was all disorganized.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
