I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Randomize
