In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
