It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
