I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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