Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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