Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
