I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
