real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
