Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
