I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
