It's like God shit irony all over that family
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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