Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
