Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
