He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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