Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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