6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
