brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Randomize
