Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize