please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
