can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Randomize
