At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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