4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
