so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
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