some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
