Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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