No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
