If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
