everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Look, if it comes down to it, Iām spraying whipped cream on your nuts
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
