why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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