1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
my sisters under your porch take her home
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
