Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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