Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
