i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
He did a backflip because drugs
I have post one night stand depression
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