Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
