Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
