One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
