My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
