thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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