Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
You don't make any sense
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