Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
