his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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