I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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