Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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