This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize