its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
