I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
3pm strippers are depressing
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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