I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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