Your dad touched me again.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
