Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize