I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
