let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
