so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
