Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize