I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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