so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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