he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
